​The Social Times

                                                  Shackled yet Free

 

                                                               by: Elaine Alisin

 

              "Freedom is the oxygen of the soul," Moshe Dayan said.

 

            If so, why is it that I can feel suffocated with my exercising of liberty?

 

            I would gladly claim I am free- free to do what I want, free to choose what dress to wear in a cocktail party, free to hate someone, free to love, free to decide what course my  life should take. But, there might be a time when I can question myself whether if I really have my hands grasping absolute freedom or if everything is just determined by my historicity.

 

            Indeed, I found myself trapped in a dilemma whether my actions are a product of absolute freedom or determined by my historicity. But somehow a light showered on me by Kavanaugh when he said "All of this is not to claim that I am absolutely free. It is merely to say that I do this, that Sartre (absolute freedom) does this, that Skinner (determinism) does this, that anyone who can question and reflect upon himself can do it." Perhaps, the two theories do not work individually but functions side by side.

 

            With that thought, an experience I would rather not be spoken of resurfaced in mind. I was burdened for a long time with the responsibilities put on me when the grandmother I was fond of became a mentally-challenged person. Coming from a family whose members have seldom time for each other, it was only my grandmother whom I can confide and be rest assured with. Prior to her illness, my grandmother for a long time runs their household since both my parents are busy with their own businesses. Every single detail including the paying of bills and taking care of my younger siblings became my grandmother’s responsibilities. She became a person that is both trusted to do what she can for the family. So one can imagine the heavy blow her illness has made.

 

            "Everything is damaged" is what I always heard from my mother during the first few months of my grandmother's confinement.  That moment, as I remembered, I thought that if man is truly free, then he must have the freedom to choose how his life should be. But certainly it is not. A bitter realization that perhaps God is playing with my fate was conceived.

 

            From then on, I realized my actions are determined.  If ever I was invited by friends to stay for the night to watch a school event, I would say no. If ever I wanted to join a club, I will decide not to because I am afraid that I might not have the leisure time. Yes, I decided to miss a lot of things because I want to be of help to my family because of our circumstances and to be available whenever an emergency comes up.

 

            However, even if my actions are determined, I could still say that there is still a free will maneuvering. It is because I have the freedom on how the arrangements of my life should be.  I used my freedom to change the ways of my family. I used my freedom to vent out my frustrations about my parents‘ idiotic arguments. I used my freedom to achieve what I want best. One might find in confusing, but still I found that while I was being shackled, I am still free. Yes, I allowed myself to be controlled by my responsibilities and that is precisely my point. I have the freedom to gladly accept my responsibilities instead of choosing to waste my life away. I used my freedom to know what I think is best as I step aside and thought what was good for me.

 

            I am determined yet free. As what Jawaharlal Nehru said, "Life is like a game of cards. The hand that you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will." As I reflected on this, I found myself in agreement with Nehru. My circumstances are what determined me and the way I chose to live my life is a display of free will.

 

            Skinner and Sartre may laugh at me but I believe that determinism and absolute freedom walk hand in hand.

 

 

*This essay was written by Elaine Alisin as part of the requirements for her Introduction to Philosophy with Logic and Critical Thinking class.